Monday, June 16, 2008

My emo,my essay

When I'm bored...I think too I write my emotional can be true or a simply written..

Part 1

Do you want to know the reason why I been snatch steal when I was young and pick pocket a few years ago.

I tell you why

It was because when I was primary 5, I often cheat my parents’ money, and I seldom return the change instead I reject to return the change when buying goods. I also do some small business in class, my classmate tell my form teacher, and he advise me not to do this kind of business in school, but I not following his advice. So I keep doing business by buying and selling of game card.
Every time I go shopping, I always ask my father to follow me to his friend shop so I can get discount on selected item that my friend ask me to buy. So the discount will be my profit. I getting more and more serious about the money, and I let the money control me.
There was a time when I enter other classroom, and I steal something from their classroom. It was not accidentally or my friend requests me, but it is for real and I’m the one forcing my friend to steal it together with me. When I was caught, I betray him and say he the one ask me to steal it instead of me. I fight for myself but I lose my own trustworthy friend.
I often get bad result in school as I not interest in my study at all except for maths.
I made quite a lot of money every month, to make myself happy. But in the end, my sister’s gold necklace; which I was wearing been snatched away. Its make me awake of my guilty actions. “When you betray someone, yours beloved will get the paid”.
During that year, money is everything for me, money make me think innovative on how to get more money.

Part 2

I get quite bad result for my UPSR, but I quite happy I get credit for it. When I was form 1. During the assignment/project session, I was selling off my points and information of it to earn a profit. I was making a profit range from RM20-60. (I have the advantage because I have the internet while others not, I realize I was making use of the resources and not make it into waste). I need a lot of money because I like good quality items, but people though I like branded stuff, they are wrong, I just dislike my items worn so soon, I’m sensitive and emotion when the things I using worn or damaged after awhile. I choosing good brand because they always maintain their quality, that’s the reason behind it. After earn a lot, I bought myself a nike sandal which cost more than 100+.
Form 2 and Form 3 was the year I earn around 1k-1.2k. How I earned that much? The same as form 1, moreover I selling pirated games and software. (again I using the resources I have, my father got cd burner while most people don’t own it). I LIE, I CHEAT my customer to gain more money. I resell the game account I sold it before which cost 400+.
But I been cheated before, I lost virtual items worth around 120+. I cried that night because I cheated for the 1st time. From that onward, I aware that Internet is a serious business, and everyone on the internet can be a scammer and we must extra careful when deal with them. That time, I think I bought myself a Seiko watch cost around 300+. (I sell to my dad after few months because I think I’m not a type who likes watches)
Few months before the PMR, I was playing so hard (not just for entertainment but for money), I was play Online games everyday, at least 12hours per day. My English teacher knew I often sleep in her lesson because she is kind and she is my mother’s friend. I often get the last or 2nd last position in class. After that, I bought myself a 1k computer.

When I enter form 4, I started to regret for what I done in my past. I can’t enter same class with my best friend. I was the only one enter art stream while others all science stream. During that year, I aware of my stupidity. I stop earning money, and I get serious in my studies. I get top 10 for 3 times. I was happy and satisfied of my success. But end of year during vacation I was been pick pocket.
( I have learnt that when we do good deeds we will see the good outcome immediately but when we do bad deeds, it will not come immediately and its affect you in future time)

Enter form 5, I knew about myself, I train myself to prepare myself for my future. My family, my friends, and my heart tell me to be stronger. I train myself to control over the money, food and computer games. I didn’t play games much often but I self study to use other software which I may need it in my future time. (Yes it happens, in swinburne, I was happy that I know how to use photoshop and converter). I read more news and study more about myself. Even I didn’t know if I will be selected to enter NS, but my best friend tell me to train myself and to keep fit before hand, and he advise me it will be useful to my future. So I follow his advise and it happen I get more fit and stronger and I recover very fast when I was sick. (Not physically strong but mentally strong).
After getting my results, I was happy, because I saw A’s, it was a big success and I realize my performance was never bad if I try.

What I have learnt in my Life’
- To get something, you have to work for it, it can be few months or years (in my case, few years example my own personal computer)
- Money is not everything, but everything is money. (use/buy resources wisely, never regret of what you buying)( the reason why my stuff expensive)
- There’s always an opportunity cost or sacrifice to make in Life
- Our spirit stronger than our body, if keep training my spirit, I can have more resistance and recover faster when sick.
- Don’t do bad deeds, always do good deeds, be helpful. (make both party happy, and you learnt more every time you help and good outcome will happen)
- Always think big.( make use of resources nearby, think of pro and cons beforehand)
- Follow what your heart tell you; not feeling or other influences.( I have been follow my heart, and I feel my life my future was arrange by God, and I’m very happy now)
- I was never alone, Jesus always in my heart.
- My timeline is horizontally, I using my past to improve myself for the future, to make myself a better man, more responsibility.
Second Essay

People say I’m good with them and sometime I treat them like my own family. In fact, m y life is full of broken heart and I continue my life with tears. Believe it or not, I still cry for my 1st event that my heart was broken into pieces.

During my childhood stage, I have one friend called Steven. We very close but I treat him like a servant. Sometimes I even scold him for being too stupid. When he injured or been bully, I just can stare and do nothing. My classmate tell me I not worth to be his friend. After he transfer to another school in Kuching. I didn’t have any sympathy feeling or miss him. But I was wrong. I still remember him till now.

I have a dog when I move to my aunt’s house. Its name Lulu. It’s a very beautiful and loyal dog that I can’t forget because I have a scare memories of her. I’m very naughty to feed him with my family’s food stock. I start know how to cook when I try to say thanks to her. Since she is a dog, she can’t listen to human language. So I fried an egg and a glass of milk for her. Sometimes I even give her cheese. The best moment is when my dog happy. Because she was the only one can conform me when I sad.

Unluckily, after my dog was catch, I cried for many nights…My parents don’t know my feeling. I very sad during that tine cause I don’t have money to release her…I feel useless…I regret…I tell myself for being useless. “What does love mean if you can’t protect”
I have no money, no power…but to bear the broken heart…After that event happen, I try to find a way to earn money…I can’t believe why money are always a solution to my problems…why?...why?...I started earning and gain thousands over… I try to lie myself by buying something to cover my past…but I was wrong again…the memory was still there and some night I still cry for it… it’s a scar..
It’s a great impact of my life, now I appreciate whom I knew and I try to spend my time with them before I regret again.

The reason why I cook, its not only I like to cook but I like my own people eat my food. Its like they are accepting me and believe in me. I still remember I cook a lot for my Lulu more than any1 else….especially the eggs and burgers. That’s how I interested in cooking. I like to cook for my family because that’s the only way to thanks them… Because if u say thanks, no one will remember it for long…but a tasty food will give them a memory. Yes, I like to have memory with everyone. By then, I keep practice and learn new recipe. Cooking is a time when you can cook with your feeling to show how you appreciate them. That’s my point of view. I don’t have interest in taking cooking course because I only learn new recipe or enjoy cooking when my heart fill with love.

My family members blame me for not washing fork and spoon… but it was intentionally…because I realize that no matter how hard I cook, the sweetness of food will gone in time…so I though this is the only way for them to remember me.

That’s why I contribute a lot to my class. When I enter Form 5, I was been acknowledge and they elect me to become class monitor…I got the most vote…the chance is in my hand, but I pass it to my best friend because he deserve it…I want to show thanks because he is my 1st friend I meet when I enter form 4 art. Till now we still in contact. Event though I was not chosen in national services…I already train myself before that happen…because I want to protect something I lose last time…I fight myself to become stronger.

My journey is all about business and there’s always opportunity cost for everything. Money is not everything, but everything is money. I don’t want to regret for something I didn’t appreciate last time. So that’s why I like the quote “one life live it”…and “yesterday is history, today is surprise, tomorrow is mystery. I changed because of my past…So I can become better person. Even though, some people won’t understand, but I’m happy because I do what I should do for not hurting heart anymore.

Why people cry when they listen to song, it can be any type of song…but Song was made to impress people not to my people cry…
Yea…history..past…was the answer…no matter how strong you are..and how manly you are…you will still cry for the happy moment and sad moment. After all, we all are emotional human.

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