Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Exam Day 2

Wahaha, didn't expect the IT exam was easier than I told...hehe
But the question is tricky, the instruction must be follow but the how about the things that didn't mention... pst..pst.
Thanks God, hope I can score in this exam.

For I,tomorrow is the last battle,and the combination of the two hard subjects,Innovation and Change & Economic.

I can do it as long I do my revision and pray to God to help me.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Exam Day 1

General Maths ...I got first and 2nd questions guess wrongly...damn can't think such questions exist lol... haha. I even simply do in the probability parts. Haiz I can't understand that probability well.
English ...hmm quite easy ... not hard to do as the answer were all can found in text...

Tomorrow will have IT exam... my favor,my advantage !!! Thanks GOD!!! I luv u for giving me the blessing.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Feel Happy =)

The winds are strong,
The leaves were many,
But the one I want,
Was missing somewhere else,

I was here,
Lend my shoulder,
For you to cry,
For you to feel comfortable,

I was here,
Lend my ears,
To listen your problems,
To lessen your problems,

I was here,
To surrender myself,
To protect you,
From any encounter,

Life without love,
Are meaningless and dull,
Together with you,
We can live happily.

I write this poem right after I come back from church. Today father talk about relationship between life and love. I was touched and that’s how I wrote it.

Last Night, my best friend from Sibu phone me, he ask me about which position shall he join, between monitor and prefect. I said to him that the chances don’t come twice and you must appreciate it. I told him, if you think you like to be it and the points it’s very important, then why not become prefect. He told me, monitor get 1 pt but prefect gets 6 pts, then it is worth to join.

Even though sacrifice will be necessary and the task maybe by folds, but this is life, no shortcut, if you want be success then you have to grow through life not go through life. Meaning you have to learn and learn throughout your life not stuck at the same things over and over.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Exam soon...preparation still in progress

Exam...in 2 more days...this coming monday... feel happy the day has come, but time was short for me to revise XD... I always like this, only got study mood when exam very near. Haiz, I hope I can change my attitude.

Today morning, I got another nice poem, reflect my past.

A tree was there,
But was cover with grass,
As tall as me,
I can’t see the direction,
But I can smell the route,

I ask help from heaven,
To lead me there,

I reach there,
But I see a man,
With its destroyer tool,

I was there,
I feel cold,
Cover with fear,
Stood long there,

Second thoughts,
I was here for something,
And I must do before dawn,

Right or wrong,
Atleast I try,
Success or failure,
Atleast I try,

In the end,
I pass,
How about you?

Fight ur own fear to surpass urself or else there’s no improvement in character.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Random Poem

juz thinking of poem after taking a nap.

The day was bright,
but my heart was dark,

I sweat from top,
and it flow to ground,

I see no shadow,
nor sense of flower,

And I a disaster,
or I think too much,

All I knew,
is be patient.

The next day,
I saw a flower in the corner,

I dare no pick,
Am I a coward or dumb,

before the dawn of night,
I pick the most beautiful flower,

The next morning,
I was happy,

Because all the flowers been plucked,
and I had pick the best,

No regret I suffer,
No time I wait,

if I was late,
I might wet myself,

Because time was precious.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

To you my friends...

I was doing revision... but I can't feel the warm, the environment, I can't feel the way I doing revision back in Sibu. My friends used to phone me for the difficulty they can't solved, even midnight we still try to solve whatever in the questions. I feel bad because I can't help them this year...I feel as I'm betraying them...I wish to have a group study like the past we always do. I believe this is part of my life, I have to sacrifice or get used to move on.

So I write this poem to express my feeling.

We are so near,
Yet we can’t seeing each other,

I remember we laugh together,
For the laughter joke we share,

I remember we cry together,
For the things we done,

I still remember the moment we together,
But it was all in the past,

I was not alone,
I hope you too,
Even we not seeing each other,
I hope you remember me,

All I want to say,
Is thank you for the time we spent,

One day I wish we can have a reunion party,
Like the party you made for me the day before I left,

That night, I was touch, and I left my tears,
Because I will go somewhere hardly for us to meet again,

So I make this poem to show I sincere to you my friends,
The memory will stay forever.

Been insult by words...its hurt...

I’m in pain yesterday…why must be me…why me…I’m so down..!!! T_T …So disappointed…please don’t simply say anything till hurt others feeling. You are a good man, I fully respect you, I attend your class despite the environment in the class very boring… I sat in front because I eager to listen and pay more attention… when you conduct Q&A section, I try my best to answer it. But why you lower people’s motivation to learn…I begging you please don’t discriminate or insult people. You may not know about it but you have just destroy my day…my mood…my… >,< You are an old man, caring, resourceful person, I just hope you can changed…

Today morning, after wake up feel no motivation to attend eng class due to yesterday matter. But I realize I been stupid to take it seriously what he said yesterday. I got answer from my own thought…even though the words are poisonous…we must try to forget it or else it will slow down us. Yep…I’m happy because I back to normal

I'm writing a poem...can be meaningful or meaningless =)

I see and I greet you,
I was there when you teach,
I sat down quietly,
I slap myself to stay awake,
Because I wanted become a good student.


You summon a lightning,
And struck my heart,
Despite the pain I suffer,
You take it like nothing happen,
But I take it seriously.

I was down,
Sat alone in the corner,
Flashback of your words,
I been poisoned by you,


Early morning,
I hear a voice,
The voice of my heart,
My heart sang a song,
to cure the poison,

I’m fine now,
Have no intention to blame you,
It was me to be sensitive,
I’m happy I know more about myself.

All I want,
wanted you to change your attitude,
I'm your victim yesterday,
But I don't want my friends to be one,
I can't afford them to be one,
As one is part of me.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

A flashback memory : The memory of my childhood

Maybe I just moody because just now in my dream, I recall my childhood memory….so I write my another essay about my past

Despite the fact been youngest son in the family, people say I’m very lucky to be that point. I would say true and false. True because my parents love me, they sacrifice for me… they even say its fine regardless of their hardship.

How can I repay them?…I’m different from my siblings… I always get bad academy score yet they so good to me. I just feel too awful. Why I can’t give them a high expectation about me. Sometimes, they don’t expect me to stress myself to get score and they just wanted me to pass. I happy to heart that but I just feel so wrong about myself. My siblings can perform so well compare to me. My parents proud of them but I’m different…

I just don’t know why I can’t spend more time in my studies… mostly I spend my time with my friends… because I just feel very happy to be with them… sometimes I confuse… why I care so much about them… and not my academy… Maybe I got my own answer… just wanted to feel the warm around them… happiness… I like to help them, solve their problems and get to know their past time story. Moreover, I want to find who have the same past or mindset like me. That will depend on the time.

In the past at the age of 9 or more, I’m as bad as you can’t think off. I treat my parents badly… I scold, angry and even shout at them before. Even my primary school principal complaint me for being naughty and irresponsible as a student. I was been punish by teachers and principal more than anyone else in my class. Almost every week I was scolded by principal. Sometimes when I angry, I can even think of cursing, revenge and swearing. When I was primary 5, I have do a lot bad deeds such as cheat, lie, and even stealing.

But I changed from bad to good… its all happen after I lost my dog… I feel lonely…and my perception of life changed when I enter Form 4 art…friends treat me as one big family. During that time, my class full of caring and loving person… and form 5 we still a big family… I miss them a lot… I would like to meet them again when I return to Sibu. Last night, one of my friend in Sibu message me and ask me what I like for my upcoming birthday and when its my birthday… I recall him immediately and I happy to keep in touch with him.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Thanks God!!! Today is a SURPRISE

Wow…I’m so happy many good events happen today. First of all I would like to thanks to God for giving me a good day.
What I would like to talk about its XPS M1330. Before the new promotion pop out…I pray to God to give the best promotion that suite me…I’m thinking of either graphics card upgrade…or WLED screen or processor or ram or 3 years warranty.. BUT it come out 9 cell battery upgrade !!!!. I’m not angry or whatsoever but I’m so happy that God give me a good promotion…the reason I say this because.. 9 cell battery allow me to use laptop more longer than a ordinary 6 cell battery. Before I choose XPS I’m scare that my laptop won’t last long during lecture time because I read the reviews about XPS drain battery life quite fast because of LED screen and graphic card performance. After my consideration, it’s true that this is the right promotion for me to wait, because no matter how powerful are the processor and graphics card, I won’t be able to use it if the battery life ended. I’m happy because this upgrade actually worth RM646. YES its so MUCH more than I expected…today surprise for me…thanks God!!!

Monday, June 16, 2008

My emo,my essay

When I'm bored...I think too much...so I write my emotional essay..it can be true or a simply written..

Part 1

Do you want to know the reason why I been snatch steal when I was young and pick pocket a few years ago.

I tell you why

It was because when I was primary 5, I often cheat my parents’ money, and I seldom return the change instead I reject to return the change when buying goods. I also do some small business in class, my classmate tell my form teacher, and he advise me not to do this kind of business in school, but I not following his advice. So I keep doing business by buying and selling of game card.
Every time I go shopping, I always ask my father to follow me to his friend shop so I can get discount on selected item that my friend ask me to buy. So the discount will be my profit. I getting more and more serious about the money, and I let the money control me.
There was a time when I enter other classroom, and I steal something from their classroom. It was not accidentally or my friend requests me, but it is for real and I’m the one forcing my friend to steal it together with me. When I was caught, I betray him and say he the one ask me to steal it instead of me. I fight for myself but I lose my own trustworthy friend.
I often get bad result in school as I not interest in my study at all except for maths.
I made quite a lot of money every month, to make myself happy. But in the end, my sister’s gold necklace; which I was wearing been snatched away. Its make me awake of my guilty actions. “When you betray someone, yours beloved will get the paid”.
During that year, money is everything for me, money make me think innovative on how to get more money.

Part 2

I get quite bad result for my UPSR, but I quite happy I get credit for it. When I was form 1. During the assignment/project session, I was selling off my points and information of it to earn a profit. I was making a profit range from RM20-60. (I have the advantage because I have the internet while others not, I realize I was making use of the resources and not make it into waste). I need a lot of money because I like good quality items, but people though I like branded stuff, they are wrong, I just dislike my items worn so soon, I’m sensitive and emotion when the things I using worn or damaged after awhile. I choosing good brand because they always maintain their quality, that’s the reason behind it. After earn a lot, I bought myself a nike sandal which cost more than 100+.
Form 2 and Form 3 was the year I earn around 1k-1.2k. How I earned that much? The same as form 1, moreover I selling pirated games and software. (again I using the resources I have, my father got cd burner while most people don’t own it). I LIE, I CHEAT my customer to gain more money. I resell the game account I sold it before which cost 400+.
But I been cheated before, I lost virtual items worth around 120+. I cried that night because I cheated for the 1st time. From that onward, I aware that Internet is a serious business, and everyone on the internet can be a scammer and we must extra careful when deal with them. That time, I think I bought myself a Seiko watch cost around 300+. (I sell to my dad after few months because I think I’m not a type who likes watches)
Few months before the PMR, I was playing so hard (not just for entertainment but for money), I was play Online games everyday, at least 12hours per day. My English teacher knew I often sleep in her lesson because she is kind and she is my mother’s friend. I often get the last or 2nd last position in class. After that, I bought myself a 1k computer.

When I enter form 4, I started to regret for what I done in my past. I can’t enter same class with my best friend. I was the only one enter art stream while others all science stream. During that year, I aware of my stupidity. I stop earning money, and I get serious in my studies. I get top 10 for 3 times. I was happy and satisfied of my success. But end of year during vacation I was been pick pocket.
( I have learnt that when we do good deeds we will see the good outcome immediately but when we do bad deeds, it will not come immediately and its affect you in future time)

Enter form 5, I knew about myself, I train myself to prepare myself for my future. My family, my friends, and my heart tell me to be stronger. I train myself to control over the money, food and computer games. I didn’t play games much often but I self study to use other software which I may need it in my future time. (Yes it happens, in swinburne, I was happy that I know how to use photoshop and converter). I read more news and study more about myself. Even I didn’t know if I will be selected to enter NS, but my best friend tell me to train myself and to keep fit before hand, and he advise me it will be useful to my future. So I follow his advise and it happen I get more fit and stronger and I recover very fast when I was sick. (Not physically strong but mentally strong).
After getting my results, I was happy, because I saw A’s, it was a big success and I realize my performance was never bad if I try.

What I have learnt in my Life’
- To get something, you have to work for it, it can be few months or years (in my case, few years example my own personal computer)
- Money is not everything, but everything is money. (use/buy resources wisely, never regret of what you buying)( the reason why my stuff expensive)
- There’s always an opportunity cost or sacrifice to make in Life
- Our spirit stronger than our body, if keep training my spirit, I can have more resistance and recover faster when sick.
- Don’t do bad deeds, always do good deeds, be helpful. (make both party happy, and you learnt more every time you help and good outcome will happen)
- Always think big.( make use of resources nearby, think of pro and cons beforehand)
- Follow what your heart tell you; not feeling or other influences.( I have been follow my heart, and I feel my life my future was arrange by God, and I’m very happy now)
- I was never alone, Jesus always in my heart.
- My timeline is horizontally, I using my past to improve myself for the future, to make myself a better man, more responsibility.
Second Essay

People say I’m good with them and sometime I treat them like my own family. In fact, m y life is full of broken heart and I continue my life with tears. Believe it or not, I still cry for my 1st event that my heart was broken into pieces.

During my childhood stage, I have one friend called Steven. We very close but I treat him like a servant. Sometimes I even scold him for being too stupid. When he injured or been bully, I just can stare and do nothing. My classmate tell me I not worth to be his friend. After he transfer to another school in Kuching. I didn’t have any sympathy feeling or miss him. But I was wrong. I still remember him till now.

I have a dog when I move to my aunt’s house. Its name Lulu. It’s a very beautiful and loyal dog that I can’t forget because I have a scare memories of her. I’m very naughty to feed him with my family’s food stock. I start know how to cook when I try to say thanks to her. Since she is a dog, she can’t listen to human language. So I fried an egg and a glass of milk for her. Sometimes I even give her cheese. The best moment is when my dog happy. Because she was the only one can conform me when I sad.

Unluckily, after my dog was catch, I cried for many nights…My parents don’t know my feeling. I very sad during that tine cause I don’t have money to release her…I feel useless…I regret…I tell myself for being useless. “What does love mean if you can’t protect”
I have no money, no power…but to bear the broken heart…After that event happen, I try to find a way to earn money…I can’t believe why money are always a solution to my problems…why?...why?...I started earning and gain thousands over… I try to lie myself by buying something to cover my past…but I was wrong again…the memory was still there and some night I still cry for it… it’s a scar..
It’s a great impact of my life, now I appreciate whom I knew and I try to spend my time with them before I regret again.

The reason why I cook, its not only I like to cook but I like my own people eat my food. Its like they are accepting me and believe in me. I still remember I cook a lot for my Lulu more than any1 else….especially the eggs and burgers. That’s how I interested in cooking. I like to cook for my family because that’s the only way to thanks them… Because if u say thanks, no one will remember it for long…but a tasty food will give them a memory. Yes, I like to have memory with everyone. By then, I keep practice and learn new recipe. Cooking is a time when you can cook with your feeling to show how you appreciate them. That’s my point of view. I don’t have interest in taking cooking course because I only learn new recipe or enjoy cooking when my heart fill with love.

My family members blame me for not washing fork and spoon… but it was intentionally…because I realize that no matter how hard I cook, the sweetness of food will gone in time…so I though this is the only way for them to remember me.

That’s why I contribute a lot to my class. When I enter Form 5, I was been acknowledge and they elect me to become class monitor…I got the most vote…the chance is in my hand, but I pass it to my best friend because he deserve it…I want to show thanks because he is my 1st friend I meet when I enter form 4 art. Till now we still in contact. Event though I was not chosen in national services…I already train myself before that happen…because I want to protect something I lose last time…I fight myself to become stronger.

My journey is all about business and there’s always opportunity cost for everything. Money is not everything, but everything is money. I don’t want to regret for something I didn’t appreciate last time. So that’s why I like the quote “one life live it”…and “yesterday is history, today is surprise, tomorrow is mystery. I changed because of my past…So I can become better person. Even though, some people won’t understand, but I’m happy because I do what I should do for not hurting heart anymore.

Why people cry when they listen to song, it can be any type of song…but Song was made to impress people not to my people cry…
Yea…history..past…was the answer…no matter how strong you are..and how manly you are…you will still cry for the happy moment and sad moment. After all, we all are emotional human.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Thanks God!!!!!!! Yatta!!!!!

Today wake up late again..because too tired last night..
But awhile ago login blackboard and view grade, I got 87% for my General Maths :D

I so happy...Thanks God, my family, my friends and all who around me.. Thanks Thanks.... I love u

Saturday, June 14, 2008

A song in my heart

Wake up at 10am and my heart is full of happiness..Don't know why and how its happen..but I juz so happy till my heart sing a song...

It must be love that time is so precious,
It must be love that I must be successful,
It must be love that I must stay healthy and strong,
It must be love that make us live longer,
It must be love that memory start to happen.

Without love, I can't even know my time was so precious,
without love, I don't have motivation to wake up,
without love, I don't even care about others,
without love, my life will be boring and there's no reasons for me to live longer as my heart feel emptiness.

I miss you, because the scrabble in my mind always spells your name
I miss you, cause my heart beats faster when I do


haha ..damn it...I don't know what happen to me..I'm insane..must control myself............

Friday, June 13, 2008

Oh Essay!!!The Return of Argumentative essay!!!

Aw man....I hate this..I fail my first argumentative essay and now I have to write a 2nd argumentative essay?....Oh %$^%*%*%*^^%!!!! .
My topics title:
1. Professional athletes have a responsibility to be good role models to the younger generation.
2. Stimulant drinks such as Red Bull and coffee pose serious health risks to those who drink them excessively. The sale and consumption of these should be restricted.
3. Most people have access to email in their workplace. Should employers be allowed to monitor and screen employees' use of email?
4. Girls as young as 14 years of age have been used to model women's clothing. Should there be a minimal age limit for modeling adult women's clothes?
5. Franchising is becoming more and more evident, e.g. Starbucks and Big apple Donuts, but is this a bad thing for small business growth?

.....oh man this is headache to me...Why every week got assignment or something to search... perhaps this is the foundation life that I need to go through for a year.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

My Presentation Day

My presentation for Stax Cineplex (fake company) about my website design. The purpose is to pursue them about the great of the website so they will approved it.

My fear,my presentation,my day...

lol, I'm stuck in some of the speech as I'm nervous coz this is the 1st attempt I present in lecture hall in front of many people.

Monday, June 09, 2008

I'm in trouble,mess,sadness...I feel so tired..

I have assignment to hand-in. Innovation and Change group powerpoint to prepare and presentation for the IT and english...yet my dream laptop will be extend for another week.

I feel tired because..I have to go computer lab everyday to do my work..I have to feel sad because I can't chat with my friends that I miss alot... What to do..How to do...

God please help me T_T I was about to feel tired day after day by this phenomena. My heart was hurt..feel angry...

However I believe in my fate that my desire can't change because I always fight for it..even with my body injure, I still have strong will to fight to the end. Afterall, I can't run away but to break the wall that infront of me. Thats make me can't give up my hope.

But I'm happy again after eating the sweetness of ice cream in Dessert Boulevard Mall
RM6.50 for triple cup, quite a worth =P