Wednesday, June 18, 2008

A flashback memory : The memory of my childhood

Maybe I just moody because just now in my dream, I recall my childhood memory….so I write my another essay about my past

Despite the fact been youngest son in the family, people say I’m very lucky to be that point. I would say true and false. True because my parents love me, they sacrifice for me… they even say its fine regardless of their hardship.

How can I repay them?…I’m different from my siblings… I always get bad academy score yet they so good to me. I just feel too awful. Why I can’t give them a high expectation about me. Sometimes, they don’t expect me to stress myself to get score and they just wanted me to pass. I happy to heart that but I just feel so wrong about myself. My siblings can perform so well compare to me. My parents proud of them but I’m different…

I just don’t know why I can’t spend more time in my studies… mostly I spend my time with my friends… because I just feel very happy to be with them… sometimes I confuse… why I care so much about them… and not my academy… Maybe I got my own answer… just wanted to feel the warm around them… happiness… I like to help them, solve their problems and get to know their past time story. Moreover, I want to find who have the same past or mindset like me. That will depend on the time.

In the past at the age of 9 or more, I’m as bad as you can’t think off. I treat my parents badly… I scold, angry and even shout at them before. Even my primary school principal complaint me for being naughty and irresponsible as a student. I was been punish by teachers and principal more than anyone else in my class. Almost every week I was scolded by principal. Sometimes when I angry, I can even think of cursing, revenge and swearing. When I was primary 5, I have do a lot bad deeds such as cheat, lie, and even stealing.

But I changed from bad to good… its all happen after I lost my dog… I feel lonely…and my perception of life changed when I enter Form 4 art…friends treat me as one big family. During that time, my class full of caring and loving person… and form 5 we still a big family… I miss them a lot… I would like to meet them again when I return to Sibu. Last night, one of my friend in Sibu message me and ask me what I like for my upcoming birthday and when its my birthday… I recall him immediately and I happy to keep in touch with him.

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