“who are you?”

I have been thinking this question in my head for couples of months since my lecture ask me to think about it during our class activity. Instantly, I get excited to dig up my past.

Reflecting back what I loved to do as a child, I love to see people happy with what I doing and involving earning money. That’s one of the reason I always give away what I have in exchange for their friendship. Their smiles and compliments are the reason I want to live for another day. Even as now, I still helping my friends solving sort of problems. When I was young, I am total failure when it’s come to academic no matter how much effort I put in, I just fail over and over for many years. I have been trauma by my failures back then; it’s hard for me to get my confidence back. O coz I'm different now than before.

I don’t believe in myself even when my friends compliment me. I never took it seriously because I thought they just purposely want to cheer me up with those encouraging words. But what if there are same compliments more than 5 times, and from different people? Seriously I shed tears of happiness when one of my friend talk how capable I am in certain areas for more than a minute during our outing with his friend that I not known that day.

I find myself pondering, am I that good? I love what my passion lead me to, I can never get bored or tired over it as long my passion burn inside me. For the first time ever in my life, I get out from my comfort zone just for the love of photography. Why? Because I go where my passion flow, that’s how I get my inspiration.

Most people around me give me a simple question yet difficult at the same time. Some of the questions were asked was “why accounting and not computer science, “I thought u taking business but accounting? and “are you taking the right course”? I always answer them right away “why I need to take a course for business/cook/photography when managing money is the most important thing to do to achieve self-actualization. The saddest part of me choosing the accounting path is that, everyone aspect me to walk into audit firm to work after graduate. I never set that in my mind, that’s why I can’t answer where I will work. Perhaps I should consider to walk into audit firm, but still.. l wondering do I have choices or options to choose?